For Donté with LOVE
by Ann Price Hartzell artist, director
One of my recent projects has been making signs for two parks in West Philadelphia for my friend Movita Johnson-Harrell who helps manage and maintain Friends of W. Wilson Good Tennis Courts and Wyalusing Park at 52nd Street. They sit across the street from the CHARLES Foundation that was founded by Movita and her family in memory of her youngest son Charles after he was murdered in 2011.
Whenever I work on the signs I think about Movita’s family. I fantasized about times in late 1999 when I would frequent Warmdaddy's Blues Club on Front Street. My now-husband and I would go dancing when bands from Louisiana would come to play Zydeco. Movita and her family frequented the club too and although we hadn’t met at that time, I wondered if I had met her before. I have a recollection of a family befriending our group of dancers one night. We were dancing with two young men who were such young gentlemen. Either way, it was nice imaging brothers young and together.
On March 5th I was thinking about the last time I had been at Wyalusing Park. It was Halloween and I had brought masks and art supplies for the kids. I was standing by the fence when Donté came running to give me a big bear hug. Then he flashed one of those twinkle-eyed smiles that make you forget you're old enough to be his grandmother.
I didn't know Donté well but we would know each other if we passed on the street. I had spoken to him about his brother Charles when I was tasked with doing Charles' portrait for the Souls Shot Portrait Project. Donté had done me a huge favor by agreeing to be the speaker at the 3rd Edition Artist's Reception for Souls Shot Portrait Project in November 2019. I remember him speaking so eloquently about the family members, brother, and friends he had lost to gun violence. “I am an endangered species”, he said.
On the morning of March 6th, I woke to text messages from mutual friends. A notification on Facebook said Motiva’s son had been shot and killed but this wasn't old news! This wasn't Charles! This was Donté! My heart sank and the room started to spin. How could this family bear another loss!? I was in utter
disbelief. Over the following minutes or hours I did the usual bargaining with God. Had someone hijacked Movita’s Facebook page? Why was Donté in California? Could that be right? Maybe they had I.D.ed the wrong guy. This just couldn't be true.
But it was true. Sweet beautiful Donté. He was a good and kind man. A son, a brother, an uncle, and a friend. This random drive-by shooting was someone else's beef.
My friend Movita has been experiencing violence since her father was stabbed to death in front of her at age 8. Then her brother, her youngest son, her cousin (more like her 5th child), and now her older son all gone by gun fire.
The community rallied. In fact, the outpouring was tremendous. The women took food and went to sit with her while they waited a week for Donté’s return from California. This forced alterations to the Muslim burial rituals. Just additional torture for the family. I walked around in a daze. I still can’t really believe it. A privileged point of view.
Thousands of internet posts of sympathy and prayers; forgiveness and blessings for Donté’s peace. The sympathy poured out in remembrance but there was an underlying current I heard from the community. “We lost another brother, son, nephew, young black man”.
It took a while before it fully registered with me. It wasn’t that the community didn’t support the victim's family - they do - but this was just the victim of the week. At first, I was angry. Donté is not the victim of the week, dammit! The realization was startling and one I still haven’t accepted.
I've been doing portraits with the Souls Shot Portrait Project for 5 years. I've gotten to know Khiry Johnson, killed at a New Year's Eve party trying to intervene in a fight. James Walke III whose smile and heart would engulf you. Charles, Donté's brother who was 18 and excited about engineering school and his first child. Adam Hammer 17 who had gone to the corner store and never returned. And Markiesh Johnson 17 who had gone to get aspirin for his mother. But I knew them posthumously. This is the first time this has happened to me. That I have actually known a person who was murdered. Shot for no reason - gone when we need them most.
All these young men held promises and dreams. They had goals and aspirations. Most were still babies/young men just beginning to discover themselves. When I started doing portraits I thought I was enlightened, I was wrong. I didn't think I was racist but I did hold a belief that these murders of young black and brown men were cause and effect; certainly caused by their lifestyle or their friends or what they were doing. My privileged white ass has come to know nothing could be further from the truth.
I watched Donté's friends this weekend as we gathered for Janazah Prayer. Some wore commemorative shirts with Donté's beautiful face on the front. I could see them try to conceal the pain in their faces as they clowned around with each other never letting their guard down. These young men were understandably sad, angry, and fearful but is it different for them because it was Donté? I fear not. When services conclude they will add his name to all the others they have lost and return to their lives probably wondering if they will be next.
I have made good friends with a number of women from doing portraits of their sons. A few of us met before services. These women all know the different rituals because they have attended so many funerals they know the different customs of each religion and in some cases, they know the families preferences.
For me, this is much too sad and doesn't feel very random. Movita is not the first mother I have known to lose additional family members. Yullio Robbins, James Walke’s mother, lost James’ Aunt to gun violence last year. When we were hanging the portrait of Sonya Dixon’s grandson, Zakiyy Allford in 2018 word came that his brother Chip Allford had also been murdered. Two weeks ago Darnetta Green, Darryl Green’s mother lost her living son to natural causes, a
severe loss nonetheless and her 15-year-old great-granddaughter was grazed by gunfire at 55th and Webster this weekend.
Senseless gun violence and predatory behavior victimizes black families, communities and future generations. In a few years Movita’s grandsons will become endangered species. Nevermind that these communities have the regular everyday problems like the rest of us. We do not live in the same world.
Exposure to community violence is a detrimental experience impacting how one thinks, feels and acts. Exposure to violence has been shown to contribute to mental health problems including depression, anxiety and PTSD. All found at higher rates among exposed communities. Advances in brain science have enabled researchers to identify neural activity in the brain. Research has begun documenting measurable differences in brain development and function in individuals who have been exposed to early life adversity and sustained stress resulting from violence. Science can now demonstrate that these neural differences are the direct result of living with toxic stress.
Donté's community will return to day to day until the next tragic murder which could happen tonight. And when it does Movita will be there to offer assistance and support.
We, those of us outside the community, will pretend to have some idea of what Movita must be going through but we don’t. As one privilege white clueless person, I want you to know we have no f****** idea! Not one! NONE! NONE! NONE! I realize I am gratefully not in a position to conceive.
I still sit in a fog. Beautiful Donté how could you possibly be gone? I ache for another hug from you and I'm sorry Covid made me fear those hugs. At the funeral, I kept my distance most of the day even though I had been honored to be invited to join the family. Covid sucks. When Donté was laid in the ground I watched people try to comfort his mother. She didn’t want their touch. That I could understand. After I couldn't help but break my rule. A hug, so small and so big, I could have held her forever.
Monday is Movita’s grandson Chad’s birthday. There will be food distribution at the CHARLES Foundation and dialysis treatment for Movita’s daughter who suffers from complications from PTSD. She is the sister Charles was picking up that fateful night.
Life will go on as it does after every death but the luxury of a grieving process will be short to relatively non-existent. My sadness will lift and behind it I expect to find my anger. This should not be happening. This never should have happened. What’s worse is to realize this is not just “normal” in many communities - it is expected.
Donté Johnson