National Day of Remembrance for Murder Victims

I was privileged to be invited to join a virtual event organized by Aleida Garcia to remember murder victims last night. The Philadelphia Obituary Project put a video together of photographs and images of victims from our area. Many of them have been, or will be, memorialized and honored with a portrait from the Souls Shot Portrait Project, including Aleida’s dear son Alejandro Garcia.

The Key Note speaker, Kevin Carter, spoke about grieving. He also called out in particular the women he has worked with who he called, quoting author Anna Marie Brown, the “true leaders of love and care”. Many of the women who have started foundations following the loss of a loved one were present for the program and many of them spoke.

Gina Pelusi reminded us that “real changes happen one step at a time” remembering words from Ruth Bader Ginsberg. Michele Roberson whose daughter Bianca Nikol was murdered by a racist not long after her only other child, her son, had died of complications of a disease, describes herself as a “childless mother”. She is determined to prevent others from going through what she has endured. Sadly, in our experience with the Souls Shot project, losing more than one child to gun violence is not uncommon.

We are currently approaching 400 murders by gun in Philadelphia since January 2020.

Michele started the foundation named for her daughter:Bianca Nikol Roberson Merge With Mercy Foundation. She admonished those of us privileged to share in this event to “please, please don’t let it be your child “ before you take action.

Another important point brought up by Michele was the feeling by many families that they are treated as the criminals. This stigma is one of the core reasons that the Souls Shot Portrait Project exists. We feel that many families are not seen nor heard in ways that are respectful and empathetic. We are dedicated to giving families and friends of victims the space and platform to tell the stories of the lives lived, to share these stories, and, as Dr. Dorothy Speight of Mothers in Charge refers to them, find some joy in “roses in December; our memories.”

Several women spoke about losing a loved one years ago and how it still feels fresh. Diane Williams, whose son was killed by her son-in-law ten years ago is still deep in grief. Moreover, she told us that her son-in-law was a police officer. There was a “stupid” argument and the son-in-law went to his car for his gun and ended it by shooting her son. Both men are Black. She spoke of how she feels this was a prescient example of the misguided training of police officers. There was no attempt to diffuse rage with something other than a weapon.

Another mother spoke. Just nine weeks ago her son was shot and killed. Her cousin was shot and killed 4 weeks ago. She was immediately surrounded by the love and support of all of the other participants who praised her for coming to the event and for being willing to share her story and accept the support from those who have been through her exact trauma.

It was heartening to see such solidarity but unspeakably sad that this “club” exists.

It is imperative that we all SEE these grieving souls, LISTEN to their stories, and ACT to bring sense to our world and stop the violence.

Please VOTE. Please take action where, when, and how you are able.

Portrait of Alejandro Garcia by Beth Carson

Bianca Nikol Roberson: Her Light Eclipsed Portrait by Helen Mangelsdorf